Friendships – Dysfunctional relationships #3 – Fault and Responsibility

When I look back at the imbalance in the last friendship I ended … having invested a lot of time, emotions and effort into something that I knew — deep down — would not reciprocate … I had to accept the fact that it was my fault how the friendship turned out — and how it ended.

It was my decision to continue the friendship, because a bad friendship is in many ways easier than building new friendships. I chose to stay in that friendship because trying to build new friendship always carries that scary element of rejection.

Life dies inside a person when there are no others willing to be-friend him. He thus gets filled with emptiness and a non-existent sense of self-worth.
Mark R. J. Lavoie

And I used her in some ways. I like to develop my ideas in writing, and with her I had someone I could bounce off my ideas. I also like to create things, and with her I had someone whom I could create things for.

I think this was the main reason why the friendship continued this long — and this was also one of the main reasons the friendship turned toxic.

Over time, she came to expect my attention while she did not have to give much. It was my responsibility to set the balance right from the start. Well, hindsight is always 20/20.

But I do not think that this was the only influence at work here. There was also her growing sense of entitlement in general.


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